Grief and the Teacher

Living, yet not feeling alive and vice versa is a fuzzy state to be honest. Certain days I ponder on such thoughts, where I sit down quitely at a place and then my mind wander places I never want to be in. The beautiful things in life comes with a price. And there are other things to which a price tag can never be inclined. This is something I have learnt over the years and experience. And yes, this is what happens. Losing something that you value and appreciate so much in life can lead to grief, and there are basically five important stages to it as the psycology explains: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. This can happen with anything that is valuable, say, an opportunity, a person, a bond, relationship or even an emotion that hit you deeply atleast once in your lifetime. One thing is clear which is the fact that something good always comes out of the twinge you go through. The last stage of Acceptance gives me hope and there is the catch! The stage where you learn more about yourself and get better and be prepared for the forthcoming life experiences. Reaching that final state of relief is a deep chaotic process that demands time, patience, perseverance and inner work.

Sometimes, it keeps me wondering where it had all began and how it ended and why and so on. And then comes that immediate urge of going back in time and changing certain things and incidents. All those worries just flush in: ‘What would have happened if I had reacted in a different way?’ , ‘What if that glory of friendship and bond still remained strong enough to be even broken or driften?’, ‘What if I had moved to a different place and started a new life and career as a new person?’, ‘What if I never be okay again?’….Any such sensation is normal. This process of re-evaluation is the onset of healing. Ask yourself so many questions and validate your feelings even when you feel like giving up. Procrastination doesn’t seem to work quite well in the long run. From own personal experiences, I have anticipated that sitting with your emotions, validating them, finding solutions and the root causes goes a long way. Just like how diamonds take their most beautiful form under high pressure, you becoming a better version of yourself every single day is the ultimatum of all the torments that you encounter. The act of kindness to yourself and others should not take a back seat even if people change, misunderstand and move on in their ways. For as in the end, it is always between you and your divine creator.

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4